Fun and Games

Relaxing as he promised, she closed her eyes and let him nuzzle closer, purposely not letting herself see what they felt for each other the blonde faintly smiled at the kiss to her shoulder. Settling down for sleep her dreams were strange and fractured, memories and selves that she'd created all intermingling in confusing ways, reawaking some time in the early morning when it was still dark she went to sit up only to be hindered by the boy beside her. Realizing what was going on she relaxed and turned onto her side to cuddle into him, tucking her head underneath his chin, for once allowing herself to be what she considered as 'weak' falling back asleep reluctantly her dreams again took hold of her.

Presenting a dream where the man who'd some how come to mean so much to her didn't remember her and left, her facial features twitched during the dream as she endeavored to get the musician to remember her. In her sleep she muttered his name, softly and almost tensely.

She watched him pull away from her when she'd gone to run her fingers through his hair while sitting on the couch with her. Not understanding the pain that filled her as he did so, she tried again and again to jog his memory and instead watched as  he spurned her and left, after that the dream became more complicated and confusing, one moment she was torturing him and the next vice versa.

She didn't understand, why did this all hurt so much? She wasn't supposed to care this much about this nobody who had nothing, but she did and her mind tortured her with it, presenting her with scenarios and circumstances where she was hurt again and again, other parts of her being lashed back out which was when she could briefly take control of herself during the dream and do the hurting instead of being hurt. As the dreams hold on her lightened, enabling her to be woken by others, she was sat with his head in her lap, watching him die and being unable to do anything except to say "you promised you wouldn't die" she was so weak and pathetic for allowing this to happen, the softness and gentle that she'd learned with him was bad. She should torture him and return him to being just a pet, the ideas swam around her head, however what her mind said she should and shouldn't do, her heart which for so long had been dormant or exclusively reserved for killian said otherwise and for once she was inclined to follow it instead of her head.

Waking up when she felt fingers through her hair, Dani flicked her eyes open, she was comfortable and safe, but there was a storm in her mind, she wanted to talk to her father about what she felt he would be able to help her with it. She hated that her mind kept going around and around in circles, fighting, warring with herself and the two sides of her being, once that she’d discovered recently and the other side that had kept her alive. She moved her head to kiss Jory quietly before she forced herself up and out of bed, loosing her balance on her feet a couple of times, she remastered how to work and pushed her blonde hair out of her face. Her father could help her figure out what was going on in her head, when it came to what she remembered things were quite fuzzy, the memories of the weekend were there but it was hard to tell what was real and what was a dream around that time. Her face ached so much, the light streaming in through the windows made the ache worse, lifting her arm to block it out as best as she could, she soon found her father and moved over to stand next to him looking up at him with tired painfilled eyes. He was one of the two people who were allowed to hug her, the other being Jory, “Help me…” she whispered her eyes closing and her head leaning against him trying to ignore the intense pain “I don’t know what to do, its all so confusing and jumbled” everything she was had changed, “What do I do? Part of me is now so gentle, and soft, and it conflicts so much with the other part of me that is well all I knew as me” she didn’t know how to balance the two sides of her true self and it scared her. Her arms slipped around her father “how do you do it?” he’d know better than anyone how to balance when it came to being soft, she had so many false selves hanging in her liars palace, she could become those selves without a second thought and act, but these genuine feelings they confused her, scared her and yet she wanted to explore these feelings with Jory, somehow he’d become safe. She didn’t let herself consider the fact that it could be more than just fondness for a pet, didn’t let herself consider that he’d become her home

Accepting the sunglasses when they were passed to her, she slipped them onto her face and relaxed as the dark glasses filtered out most of the light that was hurting her eyes. Leaning into the hug, she listened as her father explained that he trusted his wife. He told her that he knew that Renee knew both sides of him and accepted it, it was an amazing thing that she did. Killian was so fortunate to have Renee, in more ways than she’d ever realized before, looking up at him when he pulled back she listened without complaint as Killian brought up the point that was the fact that Jory accepted her for whom she was. That he didn’t want her to change, pleased the sunglasses hid her eyes, Dani closed her eyes as he spoke ‘much more than a pet now isn’t he? What do you feel for him dani?’ she didn’t know, it scared her what she thought she might feel for the boy. He’d spoken gently, yet she’d gone still and stiff unable to speak or move, her head quickly locking out the possibility that she might feel something genuine for him. Yet the gentler side she’d discovered whispered to her, yes he was more than a pet, sitting there still for what felt like hours she finally spoke “I don’t know what I feel, but yes I think he’s more than what he once was, but I don’t know what he is now” that quiet whisper was so distracting, it wanted her to relax her rules around the boy and spend more time with him, gently. The two opinions bickered and argued, continuing to make her feel torn between two choices, remaining there while she digested everything her father had said and what it meant. It took her longer than she’d thought to figure it all out, it wasn’t until the sun had begun its gradual descent that she came back from where she’d gone into her mind. Brushing her fingers through her hair, and looking somewhat rattled she turned and headed back to the bedroom. Finding the boy still in the bed, she reached out and ripped the blankets off of him, walking up and sitting on the bed next to him she looked down at the boy studying him. Narrowing her eyes for a few moments she was finally able to get some words out, “I think you’re more than a pet now” her voice was quieter than she’d intended to be the blonde kept steady eye contact with him “I’ can’t promise to change how I behave around you” her words were slow and halting and it was clear that even speaking these words were very difficult for her. Falling silent she frowned a little, annoyed that she couldn’t get out what it was she wanted to say, she didn’t even really know what she wanted to say. Watching him and remembering things that were still very blurry she murmured “You’re mine” closing her eyes and glancing away for a few moments, she eventually returned her gaze to his face “I’m yours” perhaps that’d be able to explain what she wanted to say without saying it, he had to understand and she wasn’t sure why he had to, or even what it was he was understanding. Self doubt and confusion clouded her features, her being his meant that for a few moments she could let him see what she felt on the inside.

Watching as he hesitated, Dani’s features continued to reveal exactly what she felt, not moving from where she sat, the blonde held still as he scooted closer to her and brushed his fingers through her hair, the gentle motion softening her gaze without her knowledge. Observing the fear, the shadow master quietly brushed strands of hair out of his face, the gentle movement intended to soothe him and to encourage him to say what he truly felt. Managing to get words out, he confirmed that she was his, and he was hers, always. Something in her expression changed, this confirmation that she was not alone in these strange feelings, her gaze gentled more when he told her that she was safe. Accepting the tugging close, she lay down with him and snuggled close to him, despite blurred memories the emotions hadn’t left when her head had been smashed with the bat. All she wanted to do for a while was cuddle close and take comfort in his presence, resting her head on his chest, the usually formidable female was able to allow the gentleness that she’d discovered so recently to manifest now that he’d agreed and had quite obviously meant it. Settled there, she lifted her head after tangling her legs with him, resting her chin on him so she could study him with her pale gaze, Dani spoke once more “Teach me how to play guitar?” phrased as a question, she wasn’t quite sure what it was, an order or a question she couldn’t tell, instead she studied him until she had his response. Resting her head back down again with a quiet sigh it wasn’t long before thoughts and feelings began flooding her mind again, she couldn’t stay in this house for long or she’d loose it, so used to roaming the land it was difficult to stay in one place for too long. Besides she was healed thanks to renee’s skills and had managed to get up and talk to her father. Still, she was too comfortable right now, it was much nicer just to rest here and gather her strength, the most successful way of shutting up her head that always teemed with thoughts and plots was to play music or create a song. There’d been one loosely drifting around her head, indeed it was the first thing she’d noticed when she’d come around after being healed, quietly humming notes to herself Dani remained awake with her eyes half closed continuing to put together the song that wouldn’t go away. It was frustrating work, as it felt more of a guitar song than one for the piano, partially why she’d asked the man she was cuddled into to teach her. She could hear her mother and father playing together down stairs, the two were often like giddy kids in love chasing each other around, ending up laughing and teasing each other. IT didn’t bother her, after all it was good for her parents to be like that together, they got along well and it allowed them to burn off stress and worries. Not that interested in that sort of play for herself, indeed the gentle but fuzzy memories of the weekend without david was enough for her at this point in her life. She’d follow how they’d behaved together then, her and jory, naturally the gentleness would only ever appear when it was the two of them. She was reluctant and wary of letting others see what lay hidden in her heart, she liked coming across as cunning, manipulative and above all unmoveable. So around others she’d naturally keep him at an arms length, aware that she’d likely have to explain it to the rather slow boy, but that could wait, it all could wait, right now she just wanted to live in the moment without any other fear, thoughts and worries intruding.

Listening as he agreed to teach her, a tired smirk appeared on her face when he mentioned getting her own guitar “You daft idiot, I’m already six steps ahead of you, I already own one and have for quite some time” not pulling away when the gentle kiss was pressed to her head, the blonde yawned and quite contentedly cuddled close to him falling asleep with him. Waking up sporadically during her sleep, in the end she gave up and just lay there with him for a while listening to the soft deep breathing that told her he was asleep, wriggling a little so she could study his features, blue eyes were unusually gentle. The more gentle time she spent with him the more that it came back to her from when they’d lived with someone named David, her arm that was draped over his torso lifted to brush tender fingers over his relaxed face. Entertaining herself with that for a while, hunger eventually caused her to leave him there, padding downstairs barefoot in shorts and a singlet top the blonde soon found something worth making and set about making it. Sitting on the bench with a bacon buttie and thoroughly enjoying it, Dani swung her legs back and forth quietly thinking things through, once she’d finished her food and helped the shadows clean up she wandered through the quiet house up to the piano. Opening it and retrieving her book from where it’d been hidden, the girl began playing about with notes, writing the correct one down once she’d chosen it. Satisfied that the rest of the house was asleep and that she wouldn’t be disturbed, Dani once she’d finished fiddling around with the song began to play it properly, the song was surprisingly pretty. The young shadow master often enjoyed playing such songs when she didn’t think she’d be disturbed, it was a way for her to relax and allow other parts of herself to air themselves out so to speak, softly humming the notes while she played them, dani was relaxed and completely content for the first time in years. She had her music, she had her family and she had jory, everything was alright.